12 Ways to Tell If He'll Be A Good Husband

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I thought this was great! (Too bad I didn't read it 20 years ago...)

* Does he go out of his way for you? Or are you always doing things for him? Does he try to make you happy? Does he want to prove he is good enough for you--or are you always jumping through hoops to win his love? Will he go places that you enjoy? Or are you always doing things he likes? If he doesn't aim to please you now, it will only get worse once you are married.

* Is he hard working? Did he work hard in school? Does he work hard on his job? Or is he always complaining about his boss, his teachers, and never really working hard at anything? If he doesn't work hard now, it is unlikely he'll work hard to earn the money needed to live a secure, debt-free life.

* Does he take responsibility for the quality and condition of his life--or does he see himself as a victim--always blaming others for his problems? If he blames others now, eventually he'll blame you for all his problems too.

* Does he have character? Does he have a strong set of standards and beliefs he lives by? Does he show loyalty to his friends, family and beliefs? Or is he weak? Does he show poor character? Is he self-absorbed or does he think of the feelings of others? Is his own pleasure and his own needs the most important thing in his life? Is everything he does motivated by the desire to get his pleasure needs met? Does he 'cheat' at the little things? If he lacks character, eventually he will betray you. Infidelity is simply too easy for a man who is weak and lacks character.

* Does he always insist on having his way? Does he always think he is right--refusing to listen to the opinions of others? Is he painfully stubborn? Imagine living with a man who won't try to see your side of a situation--and once you are married, there will be times when you disagree. A man who is flexible, open and willing to listen won't be impossible to deal with when those situations arise.

* Is he a positive person--or does he see the negative in everything? Does he know how to laugh, how to have a good time, how to find the good even in bad situations? Or is he prone to negativity? Is he often overly critical of others? Is he a pessimist? In a life full of ups and downs, it helps to be around an optimist who is positive. Life can be negative enough without living with a man who is negative.

* Does he make you feel important? Does he accept you as you are, or is he always trying to change you? Do you feel inadequate around him? Is his love for you based on your looks? Does he often pay too much attention to what you eat--for fear you will gain weight? If he makes you feel inadequate now, imagine how you'll feel two children and eight years of marriage (and probably 40 more pounds) later?

* Does he respect marriage? Does he joke about people getting divorced or his friends cheating on their wives? Does he respect his own family? Is he a person true to his word--or does he break promises all the time? If he takes other people's marriages lightly, eventually he'll take his own lightly too.

* Does he have a 'trigger' temper? Is he prone to impulsivity--refusing to stop and think before he acts? If a man doesn't have the ability to control his emotions, he could give in and hit you when you aggravate him.

* Does he show empathy for others? Or does he make fun of those who are handicapped, disabled or somehow weaker than himself? Imagine how you'll be treated when he sees the weakest parts of who you are.

* Does he show respect for authority? Or does he ignore 'the rules' preferring to do things his own way?

* Is he a generous person--with his emotions, his resources, his time and himself? Or is he stingy with his love? Marrying an emotionally stingy man will set you up for a life of deprivation.

* Is he kind? Does he show kindness even when he doesn't have to? Does he respect the beliefs of others? Or does he find it easy to make fun of people he doesn't understand or agree with?

* Is he a grown-up? Or is he an immature boy trying to maintain an image of being something he isn't? A man overly concerned with image won't have the real qualities needed to be a success, both personally and professionally, in life.

* Is he willing to work for what he wants? What is his work record? Does he often call in sick? Or is he self-disciplined? Does he often get fired for jobs? Does he show responsibility in regards to financial matters?

* Is he a person into instant gratification or does he have the self-control to wait for what he wants?

* Is he patient? Or does he get aggravated easily?

Owning a Home at Tax Time

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I love owning my own home. I can't imagine why I didn't purchase my own home while I was in my 20's, when the opportunity came up me to purchase a duplex in Redondo Beach, CA in the $150k price range... Hindsight is always 20/20!

There are some nice tax deductions to consider with having a mortgage. Some people would argue that these tax breaks are worthless, because you have to spend money to save money. Still, the government doesn't HAVE to give us the deductions on particulars such as mortgage interest paid, etc.

Suze Orman, for example, feels that the mortgage interest deduction is just a "phantom value" and encourages us to pay off the entire mortgage as soon as possible. She stresses that in "paying off the mortgage ahead of schedule you will save tens of thousands of real dollars in interest you never have to pay." Indeed, if I was a seriously rich individual, it would probably behoove me to take out my checkbook and just write one fat check to purchase my home in full. But then again, if I was seriously rich, I'd probably be purchasing a home that is worth over $1.1 million dollars, and mortgage interest is only deductible up to a $1.1 million dollar mortgage, so I wouldn't be able to use that deduction anyhow. Normally, I listen to Suze, however, let's face it - most of us are NOT seriously rich, and it's unrealistic to expect that the average person would be able to pony up the cash to purchase that home, or pay off the note completely. Most of us are working with limited cash-flow. If I had extra money lying around, I can think of a couple of other things (like a Roth IRA, or a 529 account for my daughter's college education) that I should be doing with that money.

But for now, I will take full advantage of all the deductions. When I file my federal and state income tax forms, I am able to deduct mortgage interest and property taxes (because my loan is less than $1 million). Paid points of all types are usually tax-deductible as well. Property taxes are also tax deductible. I'm even able to deduct mortgage insurance premiums (PMI). And there's even a deduction for up to $100,000 for a home equity loan (HELOC), if I had one. One thing to consider - if the HELOC and the mortgage amount combined is greater than the real value of your home (in total amount owed) there are limits to what you may deduct.

How much is this really going to save me? Let's say that I am in the 28% tax bracket. When I get the loan, I end up paying $1,000 a month. The interest portion of that $1,000 is tax-deductible. In the early years of loan repayment, almost all of it will be interest. Assuming that I have other deductions at least equal to the standard deduction, this means that it will lower the amount of money on which I pay taxes, meaning that my tax bill will be lower. I will effectively end up having paid approximately $720 per month for my loan. ($1,000 minus 28%, or $280.)

Because I took out my mortgage in the past year, and because the mortgage was for my primary residence, and I had paid an amount down at least equal to the points which I was charged, the points which I had paid on the purchase are fully deductible. (Not to be confused with loan origination fees that are NOT deductible, but sometimes referred to as "points".) If I had refinanced in the past year, any points which I might have paid to buy down the mortgage rate may be proportionately written off over the life of the loan. For example, if I have a 20-year mortgage, I may deduct 1/20th of the points each year. And if I had refinanced in a prior year, and then refinanced again in the past year, and ended up paying off the first refinance, any points I had not deducted from that first loan now become eligible for write-off in their entirety.

Recently, Congress and the IRS have made owning your own home an even greater tax write-off than before, especially if your home is used for your business. You can deduct all the real property taxes you've paid, including all state or local taxes for the general welfare. And if you're impounding the taxes into your escrow account, you can have the deduction as soon as your bank makes the payment. Even a tenant shareholder in a co-op apartment building can deduct their share of any property taxes paid.

Currently, there's no limit to the number of properties on which on may deduct paid taxes. If you have 10 homes, you can deduct the taxes on all 10. However, if your deductions are too great, you may be required to use the Alternative Minimum Tax. The AMT ensures that everyone pays some tax, and does so by forcing you to take fewer deductions.

Interest paid on the purchase of your principal residence is deductible. You can even finance the purchase of additional land, adjacent to your home, and deduct the interest as qualified residence interest. You can also deduct the interest you pay to buy a second residence or vacation home. This is how the government subsidizes your home purchase.

The personal-interest deduction is limited to the first $1,000,000 of your loan. If you plan to borrow more than $1,000,000 for your house, call your tax preparer. You can also deduct interest on as much as $100,000 of a home-equity loan. As long as the house has the equity, and the loan is secured by that equity, the IRS doesn't care what you do with your borrowed money. You can use it for whatever you wish. For now, if you're in the 25% bracket, $100 in interest paid only takes $75 out of your pocket. The government pays the other $25 in income taxes forgone.

After selling your home, if the property was your principal residence for any two of the five years prior to the sale, you can exclude $250,000 in GAIN (or $500,000 on a joint return) from taxes. If you qualify under the 2-out-of-5 rule, you normally sign an affidavit at the time of closing. If the house sells for less than $250,000/$500,000, the sales amount won't be reported to the IRS, due to no tax liability on the sale.

And the best part is that you don't even have to buy a new house. You can even rent (not that I would usually recommend renting) and you can still continue to get another full exclusion every two years (or whenever you qualify). You can even get a PARTIAL exclusion based on the time of use and ownership, but only if the sale is because of a change in place of employment, health reasons, or other unforeseen circumstances.

The partial exclusion is based on the maximum exclusion, not on the basis of your actual realized profit. For example, if you bought a house for $250,000 and then turned around and sold it, because of a job change, for a $25,000 profit after only one year. This is assuming that your new job is at least 50 miles farther from the residence sold than where you used to work.

Because the sale was covered by a change in employment, you get a partial exclusion. The home was your primary residence for one year (out of two), so 50% of the maximum exclusion (up to $125,000 in total gain) would be excluded. Since that's more than the $25,000 gain you actually realized, there is no tax is due on the sale of the home. You would exclude half the maximum allowed, not the gain itself. It's a major tax break, to say the least.

The key is to qualify for the partial exclusion whenever possible. "Change in employment" covers anyone who lives in the household. That person doesn't even have to be on title. The "change in employment" must be the PRIMARY reason for the sale.

Health reasons could be advanced-age-related infirmities, the need to move to care for a family member, or to obtain or provide medical or personal care for a qualified individual suffering from a disease, illness or injury.

"Unforeseen circumstances" could be divorce, death, multiple births from the same pregnancy, and even a change in employment, or self-employment status that results in your inability to pay the costs and living expenses of your household. If your income goes down, or even if your spouse or other co-owner's income goes down, you can qualify for a partial or even a full exclusion.

If you use 20% of your house as a home office, and you deduct depreciation and expenses for working in that part of the house. In the past, when you sold your house, 20% of the gain wouldn't qualify for the exclusion because that 20% wasn't used as a "residence." It was used exclusively as your office. The IRS doesn't care even if you used your home 90% for business as a home office. You can now exclude as much as 100% of your gain, up to the $250,000/$500,000 limit.

At the end of the day however, I find that the perhaps the main reason to buy a house is NOT to save on taxes, but that the money that I spend on housing today will be put to work for me in the future, ie. equity-building. Keep in mind that real estate is not mean to be a "get rich quick" scheme, but rather a LONG-TERM investment.

The icing on the cake is that the place in which I hang my hat will belong to ME, not some landlord who doesn't know my name, won't fix the leaky roof over my bed, won't let me sponge-paint my bedroom, or drill holes in the wall to mount shelves, and won't permit any four-legged friends to cohabitate with my family.

For more information:
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p936/index.html